Spent two hours at The Home Depot last Saturday. All I walked out with was a Snickers. Thanks God the guy who walked in at the sametime as me didn't walk out at the same time. He's got drills and hammers and I've got chocolate and nuget

Stupid Autotune

You know what I think we should do? Instead of wasting time being amazed at the oddball characteristics of Charles Ramsey, maybe we should try to focus on the "oddball" characteristics of the guy who is accused of holding 3 women hostage, sexually assaulting them, and confining them for 10 years. Lets see if we can pay as close attention to him as we do to the Charles Ramsey Autotunes. Make a hero out of Charles Ramsey if you wish, but don't make a mockery of this case by forgetting why he's famous in the first place.

Canada's Soccer Team

Canada drops to 100 in FIFA's latest standings. Sad thing is there's only 50 countires on the list

She's That Famous??

From the Toronto Star

"Since the Anne Murray Centre opened in 1989, more than 300,000 people have made the pilgrimage to Springhill, Nova Scotia".

Hmmm.

Muslims make a pilgrimage to Mecca. Jews make a pilgrimage to Jerusalem.

Canadians make a pilgrimage to a centre that houses what might possibly be the most boring collection of anything ever!

The Anne Murray Centre has a gift shop.

MECCA DOESN'T HAVE A GIFT SHOP!

Serial Killers

I was reading some articles about that serial killer guy from Penticton, BC.

The article started off with:

"Robert William "Willie" Pickton of Port Coquitlam, BC is a Canadian pig farmer and serial killer convicted of the second-degree murders of six women".

Pig farmer AND serial killer.

When you have two jobs and one of them is as a serial killer, does the first job really need to be mentioned? I would think even mentioning the previous job would be pretty much meaningless at this point. Even the killer himself, I'm guessing, would be ok if you omitted his previous job title. He'd probably be like, "Well to be honest, I'm a pig farmer by trade only. So, if you don't mind......"

It's not like he was pig farming and serial killing at the exact same time was he? I mean, I'm just assuming he wasn't. I mean, can you imagine the pigs. They'd be thinking to themselves, "hey, guess we don't have it so bad. Look what he's doing to that bitch. At least we get to eat first.".

And every article I read kept referring to him as "Canada's worst serial killer ever" . He killed more people than any other serial killer Canada has ever seen. Canada's worst serial killer ever, blah , blah, blah.

Now I don't know about you but wouldn't that make him Canada's best serial killer?

Now, that's a Slap in the Face!

Today, news came out that Ben Roethlisberger has been accused of sexually assaulting a woman. Here's what his attorney had to say:


"This weekend Andrea McNulty served Ben Roethlisberger with a civil complaint accusing him of sexually assaulting her in July 2008. Ben has never sexually assaulted anyone; especially Andrea McNulty".


He said "especially".

If I was this Andrea chick, I'd be more insulted with the fact that the lawyer emphasized "especially".

I Don't Want to Play Anymore

You ever find yourself playing the "follow the snot on your friend's face" game?

Why do people do this to me? Don't ask me if there's snot on your face!Why? Because even if I tell you its exact coordinates you're not going to remove it successfully on the first attempt. Invariably you will only move the little bugger (or rather booger) to a different location on your face. And then I'm going to have to follow it around saying, "no, higher. No, lower. Yeah, you got...oh, no, you just moved it again...oh, OK, now it's in your hair".