Thursday, July 15, 2010
Canada's Soccer Team
Canada drops to 100 in FIFA's latest standings. Sad thing is there's only 50 countires on the list
Monday, July 27, 2009
She's That Famous??
From the Toronto Star
"Since the Anne Murray Centre opened in 1989, more than 300,000 people have made the pilgrimage to Springhill, Nova Scotia".
Hmmm.
"Since the Anne Murray Centre opened in 1989, more than 300,000 people have made the pilgrimage to Springhill, Nova Scotia".
Hmmm.
Muslims make a pilgrimage to Mecca. Jews make a pilgrimage to Jerusalem.
Canadians make a pilgrimage to a centre that houses what might possibly be the most boring collection of anything ever!
The Anne Murray Centre has a gift shop.
MECCA DOESN'T HAVE A GIFT SHOP!
Thursday, July 23, 2009
Serial Killers
I was reading some articles about that serial killer guy from Penticton, BC.
The article started off with:
"Robert William "Willie" Pickton of Port Coquitlam, BC is a Canadian pig farmer and serial killer convicted of the second-degree murders of six women".
Pig farmer AND serial killer.
When you have two jobs and one of them is as a serial killer, does the first job really need to be mentioned? I would think even mentioning the previous job would be pretty much meaningless at this point. Even the killer himself, I'm guessing, would be ok if you omitted his previous job title. He'd probably be like, "Well to be honest, I'm a pig farmer by trade only. So, if you don't mind......"
It's not like he was pig farming and serial killing at the exact same time was he? I mean, I'm just assuming he wasn't. I mean, can you imagine the pigs. They'd be thinking to themselves, "hey, guess we don't have it so bad. Look what he's doing to that bitch. At least we get to eat first.".
And every article I read kept referring to him as "Canada's worst serial killer ever" . He killed more people than any other serial killer Canada has ever seen. Canada's worst serial killer ever, blah , blah, blah.
Now I don't know about you but wouldn't that make him Canada's best serial killer?
The article started off with:
"Robert William "Willie" Pickton of Port Coquitlam, BC is a Canadian pig farmer and serial killer convicted of the second-degree murders of six women".
Pig farmer AND serial killer.
When you have two jobs and one of them is as a serial killer, does the first job really need to be mentioned? I would think even mentioning the previous job would be pretty much meaningless at this point. Even the killer himself, I'm guessing, would be ok if you omitted his previous job title. He'd probably be like, "Well to be honest, I'm a pig farmer by trade only. So, if you don't mind......"
It's not like he was pig farming and serial killing at the exact same time was he? I mean, I'm just assuming he wasn't. I mean, can you imagine the pigs. They'd be thinking to themselves, "hey, guess we don't have it so bad. Look what he's doing to that bitch. At least we get to eat first.".
And every article I read kept referring to him as "Canada's worst serial killer ever" . He killed more people than any other serial killer Canada has ever seen. Canada's worst serial killer ever, blah , blah, blah.
Now I don't know about you but wouldn't that make him Canada's best serial killer?
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
Now, that's a Slap in the Face!
Today, news came out that Ben Roethlisberger has been accused of sexually assaulting a woman. Here's what his attorney had to say:
"This weekend Andrea McNulty served Ben Roethlisberger with a civil complaint accusing him of sexually assaulting her in July 2008. Ben has never sexually assaulted anyone; especially Andrea McNulty".
He said "especially".
"This weekend Andrea McNulty served Ben Roethlisberger with a civil complaint accusing him of sexually assaulting her in July 2008. Ben has never sexually assaulted anyone; especially Andrea McNulty".
He said "especially".
If I was this Andrea chick, I'd be more insulted with the fact that the lawyer emphasized "especially".
I Don't Want to Play Anymore
You ever find yourself playing the "follow the snot on your friend's face" game?
Why do people do this to me? Don't ask me if there's snot on your face!Why? Because even if I tell you its exact coordinates you're not going to remove it successfully on the first attempt. Invariably you will only move the little bugger (or rather booger) to a different location on your face. And then I'm going to have to follow it around saying, "no, higher. No, lower. Yeah, you got...oh, no, you just moved it again...oh, OK, now it's in your hair".
Why do people do this to me? Don't ask me if there's snot on your face!Why? Because even if I tell you its exact coordinates you're not going to remove it successfully on the first attempt. Invariably you will only move the little bugger (or rather booger) to a different location on your face. And then I'm going to have to follow it around saying, "no, higher. No, lower. Yeah, you got...oh, no, you just moved it again...oh, OK, now it's in your hair".
Monday, July 20, 2009
Stupid Racists
Wow.
I just had a racist encounter. Somebody was actually racist towards me. Can you believe that?? In this day and age?
After it hapened, I was like "what the f***". But to be honest it didn't bother me that much. It's because it was one of those stupid racist comments. You know, the ones that at first sound really bad but then you realize it didn't even make any sense.
I was walking along Queen Street with my twin brother and all of a sudden we see this guy approaching us..this major piece of white trash...you just knew he was going to be trouble...and he's just staring at us up and down, up and down and swearing and right when he passes, all you hear him say, at the top of his voice is "Fuckin Paki's, you all look alike"
We're twins you f****ng idiot. We'e supposed to look alike.
I just had a racist encounter. Somebody was actually racist towards me. Can you believe that?? In this day and age?
After it hapened, I was like "what the f***". But to be honest it didn't bother me that much. It's because it was one of those stupid racist comments. You know, the ones that at first sound really bad but then you realize it didn't even make any sense.
I was walking along Queen Street with my twin brother and all of a sudden we see this guy approaching us..this major piece of white trash...you just knew he was going to be trouble...and he's just staring at us up and down, up and down and swearing and right when he passes, all you hear him say, at the top of his voice is "Fuckin Paki's, you all look alike"
We're twins you f****ng idiot. We'e supposed to look alike.
Make That Change
So, I've been on this "gotta make a change in my life" thing recently. You know, start treating people around me better. Treat my self better. I've decided that's it...today I'm going to make that change.
So, I'm on the GO train sitting down just looking at the people around me and I see this one lady..a huge lady..probably 350 pounds, walking with a cane, in obvious pain, sweating, looking for a seat. And nobody is getting up.
And then it hits me righ then and there. I need to do something.
An so, right there I make the decision.
I'm going to start going to the gym before I end up like this fat bastard.
So, I'm on the GO train sitting down just looking at the people around me and I see this one lady..a huge lady..probably 350 pounds, walking with a cane, in obvious pain, sweating, looking for a seat. And nobody is getting up.
And then it hits me righ then and there. I need to do something.
An so, right there I make the decision.
I'm going to start going to the gym before I end up like this fat bastard.
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